Be a partner in their Progress
In the Open: Talk to Your Child
When it comes to your child's hopes to continue his
education, communication is key. If you haven't had this
conversation yet, bring it up, the sooner the better. If he
initiates the conversation, be a patient and attentive listener.
Ask questions. How much research has he done? Has he talked to his
school counselor? Does he have any idea where he wants to go to
school? Has he thought about how to pay?
If you have concerns, be honest about them, but keep an open
mind. Look back at the Possible Concerns on the previous page to
see how you might overcome your fears. Be open to what's possible.
The Road Ahead: Make a Plan
After you and your child or the child in your care have
talked about her hopes for postsecondary education, it's time to
make a plan, regardless of what grade she's in. It's never too soon
or too late to start planning. It makes everything a lot easier.
With a plan, everything is out in the open. There are no
hidden obstacles lurking in the back of your mind. Chances are some
of those roadblocks will seem easier to get around once you put
them in writing.
There are many free online resources that can help with your
planning.
Start preparing now/high school juniors and younger has
planning advice you and your child can use to formulate a plan
together.
Start preparing now/high school seniors offers a
month-by-month task checklist.
The college roadmap creator lets students (and their parents
and caregivers) download customized college roadmap posters, with a
plan of action for each year of high school.
The Student Aid on the Web Parent page contains more planning
advice and links to many other useful Web sites.
You should never have to pay for information about college
planning and financing.
Some companies make the process seem more difficult and
confusing than it really is, in hopes of getting your business.
There is simply no need to pay for information that is readily
available for free. See Be Money Smart for more information.
Making It Happen: Supervise and Support
After you plan, it's time for action. Decide what roles you
and your child or the child in your care should play. What you
decide will be based on your unique family situation.
You probably don't want to be a "helicopter parent." This
type hovers over the child throughout his school career, sometimes
making college decisions without even consulting the child.
Don't be at the other extreme either, by doing nothing to
help him continue his education. Find the right balance.
Think of yourself as the key supporter of this project. Make
sure your child takes care of key tasks by certain dates. Praise
his good performance and provide supportive correction when he
isn't measuring up. And be there to handle things that only a
parent or primary caregiver can.
The Basics: Play Your Part
Planning aside, there are some basic things you can do to
help your child prepare to continue her education. Of course, every
family situation is unique. There may be only so much you can do,
based on your work schedule, your financial situation and other
family commitments. Even if we wanted to, most of us don't have the
time or resources to be "helicopter parents." The important thing
is that you stay involved and offer meaningful help where and when
you can:
Talk to her teachers and counselors.
Let them know that you support her educational goals
and ask for their help and support, too. Ask teachers and
counselors to tell you about anything that concerns them about her
progress. Stay in contact throughout the school year, every year.
Set realistic academic expectations.
Monitor your child's schoolwork habits and performance and
let him know that you expect him to work hard.
Make sure he takes challenging classes and applies himself
Watch out for signs that he is struggling; he may try to hide
them
If he is having trouble, see if you can help, or, if
possible, help find a tutor for him. Ask his counselor for
recommendations
Grades are definitely important, but your main focus should
be that he is doing his best and challenging himself.
Enforce
limits.
Kids today have more distractions than ever. You know your child
and her work habits. Let her know that you expect her to put school
and her college plans first. That means limiting her time
socializing with friends (whether in person, on the phone or on the
Internet), playing video games, watching TV, surfing the Web or
even working at an after-school job.
Be his biggest cheerleader.
Healthy self-esteem is so important to a child's success.
Your praise and approval are critical. When you celebrate his
accomplishments, he sees that you're always paying attention, not
just when he falls short. On the other hand, don't overdo it. Kids
can sense when you're being sincere and when you're not.
Introduce her to the world of work. Many kids worry that they
shouldn't continue their education after high school because they
haven't decided on a career. Let your child know that that's
perfectly normal. At the same time, help her understand what it
means to have a job and a
career:
Point out how some of her interests and talents might connect with
a career. For instance, does she love music or play an instrument?
Mention that aside from being a musician, there are dozens of other
jobs, such as recording engineer and concert promoter, where a love
of music is the starting point.
If she has already mentioned an interest in a certain career,
help her explore it. Maybe you know someone in that field who might
be willing to talk to her about it. Look for books, magazine
articles and newspaper items that might stoke her interest.
Share your
experience.
Do you have a fulfilling career? Talk to her about the path you
took to get there. Are you dissatisfied with your employment path?
Discuss things you might have done differently and help her learn
from your example.
Help him pursue his interests.
Colleges like to see outside activities on student resumes.
These activities can also help your child discover subjects that
might interest him in college and maybe point to a career.
Encourage him to try any positive activity that truly interests
him, and provide any support you can to help him stick with the
ones he really loves.
Be her sounding board.
From choosing a school, to coping with test anxiety, to
keeping her grades up, she has a lot to deal with on her path to
continue her education. Keep the lines of communication open:
Let her know she can talk to you about her hopes, dreams and
fears. Be as positive as you can, even when you think she's being a
little unrealistic. That doesn't mean you can't speak up when you
think she's making a serious error in judgment — that's part
of your job as her parent or primary caregiver.
Help her look at all sides of an
issue.
When she's considering where she wants to go to school, help her
think of questions she needs to ask herself, such as whether she
wants to go to school locally or out of town. Does she want to get
a 4-year degree, or a 2-year degree or certificate for a specific
type of job? What kind of roommate would she be compatible with?
Because you know her best, you can help her make decisions that are
right for her.
Do the grown-up stuff.
There are some things that only you as an adult can do. One
example might be promptly filing your income taxes in January of
your child's senior year. That way you can work together to
complete the Free Application for Federal Student Aid as soon as
possible. Another would be chaperoning him to out-of-town college
visits.
Visit college@ed.gov today for more information.