"Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant"

Rated PG-13
1 hour 40 minutes

Starring: John C. Reilly, Chris Massoglia, Josh Hutchenson, Ray Stevenson, Salma Hsyek, Willem Dafoe

I'm afraid that vampire thrillers are not quite what they used to be. Now they are crawling out of the crypt for the sole benefit of the tee age crowd.

"Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant" tells the not very compelling story of young Darren, a restless teen bitten by the urge to become a vampire. And he couldn't have a sorrier role model that a long in the tooth bloodsucker called Crepsley.

It's deeply depressing seeing an actor of John C. Reilly's stature getting sucked up in this half hearted comic thriller. Darren falls under the spell of this freak show impresario and his menagerie of creepy characters.

Unbilled cameos by the likes of Salma Hayek are too brief to bring any long term relief from the silly scenario.

Nothing's designed to prolong this film's longevity, I can assure you. The time flies by faster if you play along as if they are actually being entertained.

Darren must be disillusioned that he doesn't get Kristen Stewart like that other dude of the living dead in the "Twilight" movies. I say we fire "The Vampire's Assistant" with two stars. This is one vampire movie that's completely toothless.