"Couples Retreat"

Rated PG-13
1 hour 45 minutes

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Malin Akerman, Jason Bateman, Kristin Davis, Kristen Bell

I've got a consumer beware alert you should know about. The watered down PG-13 rating is all you need to know that "Couples Retreat" isn't quite the spicy comedy it's cracked up to be. In fact, It's something of a tease. The picture's actually a shallow comedy about four shallow couples being sold a bill of goods about a vacation paradise in Polynesia.

Their fun in the sun takes an abrupt detour when these would be swingers discover the agenda for their island getaway will be more cerebral than sensual. If they thought otherwise, they've come to the wrong place.

Instead our aging swingers are subjected to the whims of a slightly deranged marital therapy guru. A muscle bound personal trainer who in less exotic locale would be charged with sexual harassment. All within the squeaky clean confines of the PG-13 rating.

The picture wastes too much time on cry baby Vince Vaughn's shark attack, a flat joke that's dead in the water.

I do know that "Couples Retreat" features more teasing than titillation, and if you expect to be pampered with hilarious dialogue, they're not the only ones deserving a refund. There are times "Couples Retreat" requires patience beyond the limits of human endurance.

Let's not mince words. "Couples Retreat" is funny in spots, but the picture's mostly a waste of time. Wasteful enough to warrant only 2 stars. The ideal getaway is to avoid "Couples Retreat" altogether.