Tackling serious conversations with kids

CHICOPEE, Mass. (Mass Appeal) - Parenting is the toughest job any of us will ever have, but it can also be one of the most rewarding as well. At some point, all parents will be faced with having difficult conversations with their kids.

Dr. Elaine Ducharme , a psychologist with the CT Collaborative Divorce Group, shared some advice to help parents tackle serious conversations with their kids.

Tackling serious conversations with kids
Kids learn not only from what they are told, but also how they are told and what they see.

Most Difficult Topics to Talk About:

• Death
• Divorce
• Sickness
• Sex
• Safety including Good Touch and Bad Touch
• Drugs and Alcohol

So how do we handle these topics? What if we are nervous about what to say?

1. Be honest. Parents need to be seen as a source of truth. So be honest. You must consider the child's age and level of development. But be truthful. Telling kids the stork brought them is not helpful.
    
2. Use correct terminology. While kids may have slang words for body parts, it is important they know the actual words such as penis and vagina and are able to use them.
    
3. Admit when you don't know. If you don't know the answer to a question they ask, tell them you don't know and will try to find out. Consider looking up the answer together. Remember you can always go back and say …remember when we were talking about (whatever). I forgot to tell you…
    
4. Ask about their feelings. Ask what they think about what you have told them.
    
5. Ask if they have any questions. Be open to hearing your child's questions.
    
6. Listen to what they have to say. It's important to listen to what your child is saying so you can better understand what they know.
    
7. If something is really sad, don't be afraid to show your feelings. Children will learn to deal with their emotions by watching how their parents react to different situations. Let them know it's ok to feel your emotions.
    
8. Congratulate yourself. Give yourself credit for doing something difficult.

Best Time to Talk to Kids

• Look for quiet time without a lot of distractions.
• With younger kids, try to be in a place where you can maintain eye contact.
• With older kids, especially teens, talking in the car is generally a way to get and maintain their attention.
• You can ask them to put away their phones and electronics. For some topics (especially sex) they may feel more comfortable not looking at you.

For more information and tips click here .