Digital etiquette for wedding guests & the happy couple

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(CNN) – No two weddings are exactly alike, and not all couples will have the same strategy for social media on their big day. That can be confusing and even frustrating for couples and guests.

Of all of the things posted on social media every day, Sophie Pyle says a wedding day is tailor-made.

Pyle says, “There’s flowers, everyone has their makeup done, everything looks absolutely beautiful, and you really just pull out all the stops. So, in my opinion, I think weddings were just meant to be Instagramemd.”

Pyle is the founder of Tweet the Bride, a social media concierge that takes posting off of the hands of the happy couple or wedding party, and gets professional photos to Instagram and Twitter right away.

It’s a concept that’s grown out of an increasingly connected world, and couples may find there’s only so much they can do about guests snapping with their smartphones.

“I think it’s a losing battle for brides who say absolutely no cell phones. I think if you say absolutely no social media, that’s a little easier to enforce. And it is your day, you can do whatever you want,” Pyle says.

Pamela Eyring of the Protocol School of Washington recommends an insert card in the invitation or program that specifies any social media rules, especially if the couple prefers no posting until after the event, or at all, which, the etiquette expert says, is fine.

They’re your friends and/or family, so just tell them and say, I really want to keep this close hold, for a while. I’ll let you know. And they should observe your rules,” says Eyring.

If there’s no explicit statement, there are two unspoken rules for guests above all, no posting photos of the bride before the ceremony. And stay out of the way of hired photographers.

Eyring says, “The photographer is being paid to be the photographer. So let them be the photographer. Don’t be the paparazzi, getting in front of the camera, the videographer. They’re paying a lot of money for those people to provide for them in that support, and you’re not it.”

At the appropriate times, Pyle says guests can provide a unique perspective on the day, and recommends social media savvy-couples enlist their help by making a hashtag visible, to curate those personal photos.

Pyle says, “You can put it on your invitation, you can post it on little note cards on the tables, you can advertise it at the bar, I mean there are so many ways to let them know about the wedding hashtag.”

Just don’t go overboard. The couple has asked their guests to share in their big day. So perhaps put down the phone, and enjoy it.

After all, any happy union includes compromise, including the recent marriage of technology and tradition.

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