Rated R2 hoursDakota Johnson, Jamie Dornin, Rita Ora, Luke Grimes, Eloise Mumford
CHICOPEE, Mass (WWLP) – You’ve got to pity the incurable romantic who wants to play house with the Sado-Masochist Predator.
If you were hoping for a serious movie about what motivates degenerates into whips and chains, I’m sorry to say “50 Shades of Grey” isn’t that movie.
Impressionable Dakota Johnson swoons over pain and pleasure enthusiast Jamie Dornin, who explains he’s incapable of leaving her alone. You’ll find yourself incapable of keeping a straight face and from laughing out loud at the sheer stupidity of this lamebrain study into artificially sweetened perversion.
Dornin assures her she can leave his “Playroom” at any time. The humane invitation to leave at any time was mainly meant for the audience. The one-dimensional characters mouthing their inane dialogue is more punishing than anything the pretty boy billionaire with the exotic tastes in erotica can conjure up in his “Playroom”.
I assure you the ridiculous dialogue speaks for itself. “50 Shades of Grey” is what happens when a trashy book becomes an even trashier movie, that’s lucky to get even one star.
At one point our hero apologizes to his sex slave for getting too rough. It’s the audience that deserves the apology.